Dating these days

There is something clearly different about teenage dating these days.  Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad.  Many LDS  teenagers are trying so hard to live good lives in today's world and follow the council given in the "For the Strength of Youth" and I applaud them for that.  It is good to see that high standards are important.  However, In talking with my teens, the very way that relationships begin may be changing drastically from my days as a teenager and generations before me.
  I was talking with my teenagers the other night over dinner. Kids don't pass notes in classes or Hallways at school. Texting on Phones or chatting online has done away with that for sure. Although part of the fun of passing notes was the possibility that you might get caught and have your note read in front of the class. A dangerous venture, for sure that many adolescents have tried just because actually TALKING to the person was too hard to let them know that you thought that they were cute. Remember those days?
You would think that with all of the advances in technology that getting to know and communicate the opposite gender would be easier, but one restaurant owner in our neighborhood lamented that many kids these days just don't know how to communicate outside of the digital or virtual world. He has seen teens come in on dates for a dance and text each other while sitting across from the table.
Personally I used to love talking on the phone, but if you ask a teenager to call one of their friends, they just give you "the look" and say that you are weird.
Then there is the problem of general apathy towards dating in among our youth. Many high school boys do not feel like they should waste their money taking a girl to a dance, movie, or other activity that involves spending money, and inexpensive creative dates are too "cheesy".
  Dances have changed drastically as well. This is because many of those that do attend formal dances have come to expect such extravagant extremes as a limo ride and a $600 dress.  Many local parents are willing to subsidize this lifestyle in order to give their children such experiences and keep up with the "Joneses".  Really... Prom does not have to turn into a $1,000 affair. Hence the apathy. Too many unrealistic expectations.  Unfortunately it seems as though ALL of the dances at the local high school have morphed into formal dances and it can get very expensive to have a "prom" dress every few months.
  Many girls I have talked to feel that dating is weird and awkward.  There is allot of confusion as to what the rules are in regards to who pays etc.  Many girls feel very independent and do not think they should date and are annoyed by boys who try to be chivalrous.  They are busy pursuing their education and careers.  It is just easier to "hang out" with friends than to pair off when they are in college.  Some more traditional girls feel embarrassed when they assume that since the boy asked and picked her up that he would also pay and then it turns out that she needed to pay.
  My oldest is still in High school, and I can only hope that by the time she gets into college that there are boys out there that have figured that gaming isn't nearly as much fun as an evening spent with a pretty girl.
  I guess I am just old school and a hopeless romantic.


Paul and I on one of many of our fun "cheap"dates involving just a camera and a roll of film... and us!

Flooded

More than a week ago it rained.  Allot. The new Patio that we had poured last month did NOT divert the water away from the house as promised, but directed water IN to the house.  Fortunately, we were in the process of pulling up flooring anyway, but the shop under the Family room  was taking in more water than before we poured the new patio.  Like 100 times more.  We started to move totes and boxes out to clean up and put sealant where the water was coming in.  It looks like we will be putting in a nice patio cover eventually, but for the time being our efforts to stop water from entering in have worked.
  We have cleaned up that flooding, but now I am dealing with a whole different sort of flooding.  Emotional flooding.  One of the Totes had all of my letters and notes from everyone except  my husband Paul from Jr high all the way into College.  I keep Paul and my letters together in their own tote, and get them out once in a while, but this one I have not gotten out and gone through in the 15 years that we have lived here.  I vaguely remember transferring  them from a cardboard box to a plastic tote about 10 years ago, but they have remained  tucked away in the corner of the shop and out of my thoughts until last week.
  I took a day and sat down and pulled out some of the boxes of letters and my journals and spent a rainy afternoon being a teenager again.  I would occasionally read some of the funny things aloud, which really annoyed some of my kids, but I wanted them to know some of the things that happened to me when I was their age.  I laughed, I cried, but most of all I was flooded with gratitude for my life and for those who came into it and touched it for the better. I counted more than 300 hand written letters, notes, greeting cards and postcards total. How touching it was to see physical evidence of the friendships that I had.

A lost art?

 
  To sum things up. Girls love letters.  They cherish them.... even the heartbreaking ones.  Write someone a handwritten letter, card, note or postcard today.  Everyone loves to get mail.

Remodeling the Remuddled

... I wonder how many building codes this one corner broke

This weekend we finished gutting our TV room and Kitchen.  Both of these rooms had MAJOR Remuddling issues.  The main original walls were well built and intact, but somewhere along the way things went wrong..... horribly wrong. Most of it looked like they went around to construction sights and gathered up all of the leftover wiring and used that to "claim" that our home had all new wiring (it was something that sold us on buying the house... knowing that we could sleep at night)   HA!

...Lets see... 1, 2, 3, 4, oh and lets put a few gallons of joint compound up just for good measure

.....I don't even want to know

This wall wasn't doing anyone any good so it is gone now  The older one behind it doesn't look like a two year old made it

Clothes as insulation... or hidden "evidence?  Hmmmmmmm

SCARY!!!!!!!!

Knowing that this was BEHIND a layer of sheetrock doesn't help.

Remodeling isn't for the Faint of heart

As many of you know, we are in the middle of adding on to our home.  Last Fall we dug and poured the foundation, hired a framing crew, had my Brother-in-Law do the siding, windows, and roof, and it pretty much looks like we are done........ from the outside.

The inside is a different story.  We can't park in the garage because it is more convenient to have that be the shop while working on the addition... Plus it's full of lumber and building supplies.  All the interior framing is done (finally), and some of the wiring, but that is just about it.  This is what happens when  your super busy husband knows that he can do the wiring better than the pros... it will be perfectly planned out and we will be able to sleep at night knowing that the house will not burn down in an electrical fire..... it.... just.. takes........ time.

It's OK, though since I am patient about such things and have no expectations of getting done with that in the next six months.  However here is where I think I step off the brink of sanity.  We decided to gut and remodel the kitchen and family room AT THE SAME TIME.  Yes, I believe that I am now completely INSANE!!!!   
I suppose that my thinking behind this is ." Lets just make a huge mess of Everything and then it will all be nice.... someday."

When we moved in
1996

Just before gutting

What it looks like this week.  Walls knocked down and beams added.

 As you can see it's a real mess.  We even had to take the floor all the way out in the Family room and down to the old 1X12's that run diagonally in the Kitchen.  I can't believe how much taking down just two walls has opened up the space.  I can't wait to spend time in my new space!!!  We decided to re-use many of the existing cabinets and paint them (because we are still working on the addition and need money for things like sheet rockers)  My Dad is building me this awesome little island to house the microwave and trash cans.  We took out this massive cabinet on the left wall and turned the hall closet into a pantry in the Kitchen.  I am thrilled that someday the new appliances , some of which have been in my front room for a year and a half will soon move into the kitchen and I will have a living room again Hooray!!!!

So what are we doing about meals and things?  Don't worry... we thought this one out.  Our home was one of those where the Government would give you enough money to build a basement so that you could save up and later put a main floor.  There are a few houses in the area where they never put the main floor on and it is rather odd to see a roof right on the ground.  last year we put in a kitchenette in the basement and things are working great down there.  It's a bit cozy for all six of us, but we did even manage to have Natalie's birthday party down there.  The cabinets are from IKEA and the kids are the dishwasher.  I cook on a portable induction cook top and we have a convection microwave so I can bake too!  We have been down there for nearly a month and I am actually enjoying the simplicity.

The basement Kitchenette

Why Take Family Photos?

I have this out of control hobby of Photography.  I've got a nice camera, lighting equipment, and editing programs.  However, it is somewhat ironic that I do not have an overabundance of photographs of all the members of my family.
  I do try once a year to get my family out for a family portrait sitting.  Of, course there is some murmuring and complaining, and alot of time spent in the bathroom getting people picture perfect, but I insist on making time to capture a moment in time together as a family.
Why?  Because I always want to be able to look back on the photographs and see how my family has changed.   I consider it an important part of documenting our families history visually.

What does this picture say about us this year?  Nicole is growing into a beautiful and confident young woman.  I look a little frazzled from running back and forth between the camera to set the timer (my old Canon had a wireless remote that was handy, but this one doesn't) I am wishing that I had lost just a few more pounds, but am happy to get this done.  Paul is working hard and has the grey hairs to show it.  It was funny that his Ralph Lauren shirt did not have buttonholes on the tabs at the sleeves... we didn't know this since this was the first time wearing this shirt.  Erik has braces and is proud of the fact that at 14 he is taller than his older sister and about to pass up his Dad.  Natalie is just starting Young Womens... and who knows if she will get much taller. Karl is as he has always been, just a little camera shy.

After we took the one that I knew I wanted on the wall we did this one.  I tried to capture everyone doing something that represented them.  Karl is holding a spyglass because he is always interested in looking at things and learning.  Natalie is writing notes in a book and being observant.  I am taking pictures, Nicole is sitting on a suitcase because she went to Europe this summer and loves travel and adventure.  Erik is wearing Boy Scout pants and shirt because he worked at a scout camp this past summer.  Paul is in the back looking at a map because he gives our family stability and direction.  I was very happy that everyone cooperated for this one.

I think the kids are smirking in the background :)

I encourage everyone to get together as a family often to capture what your family is like at a particular time.  Don't wait for you to lose that few extra pounds, or for it to be convenient, because it will never happen if you are waiting on things like that.  Capture your family in a moment of time so you can remember years from now what they were like.