Couldn't Find What I Was Looking For...So I Made It Myself

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My Neighbor, My Sister, My Friend

My Neighbor Donette and I at a DUP Jubilee

I have to say that I live in a pretty great place.  One of the things that I love is the really great women that live around me.  I have learned so much from them, just by their example.  Nearly everything that I have had struggles with, one of my older associates has had to deal with too.  I am nowhere near being perfect, but someday I hope to follow the great examples that I have around me.  Here are just some of the greatest lessons that these amazing women whom I associate with have taught me:

• Listen to others.  Sometimes someone just needs a listening ear
• Make a fuss over a young mothers children.  It makes them feel so good and realize how precious this time in their life is and that it really is worth all the late night feedings, piles of laundry, and fatigue that comes with the job.
• Keep something in the freezer you can share. You never know when someone may need it
• Volunteer....well... somebody has to
• Speak up.   Right wrongs.  Help others.
• Get together and have fun.  Most of the time this needs to include good food.
• Love your Neighbor

Our Neighbor Donette invited us to her property

My neighbor Donette, in particular has shown me the kind of person that I want to become.  Someone that truly loves those around her and blesses the lives of many.

The highlight of summer is going  down the neighbors 100 ft slip and slide

Donette takes us all out for ice cream

Going on a hike with Donette near her Property in Idaho

We came home to an easter suprise on our steps

This year everyone got bunny goodie bags

We just love all of the ladies in our ward, and especially our dear neighbor.  I hope that as I get older that I can be a great neighbor, sister, and friend, because I have had the best example of what that should be.

Group Dynamics

A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him. ~ Aesop

I have always been fascinated with the concept of "Group Dynamics"  How people interact with one another..... This is especially of interest because I have four children, two of which are girls.  How people behave when they are in a group and how that may differ from the way they would act on their own.  Fascinating.  Second to this is my interest in understanding personality types.
  I suppose part of it may come from the fact that my parents moved a number of times and in each town there were perceptions about where I lived, how I acted, and how I dressed as to what social group I was accepted in at school.   Yes, I learned the drill.... when I lived in a big house and had cool clothes, I was higher up on the social ladder, and when times were rough, I became invisible.  My husband, on the other hand only moved once as a child... and even then it was just a few blocks.  He never had the opportunity to reinvent himself.
Combine our experiences and you have two people who are determined to raise their children in a non-conformist environment where status is irrelevant.  There will always be someone who has something that you don't .We purposefully chose NOT to live in a subdivision (especially a newer one) where there are social pressures to keep up with the "Joneses"  (OK I admit that part of this concious choice is an effort to quell my competitive side) I find it kind of ironic, though that the local school bullies refer to those living at the bottom of the hill in older homes as "runoff".  I find it hilarious that they don't even consider the fact that their newer larger homes on less land might possibly be equal to the monatary value of an older home on alot more land.  How strange and twisted perception can become when anything newer is perceived as being better, and that to a teenager, identity is so closely connected to what their parents own (or, in reality, what the  banks own until the parents pay it off)
How has the descision to stay in our 1940's home affected our children?  I often think about this.  For one thing, there aren't very many children in our ward (church group in our area).  This could be both a good thing and a bad thing.  All the adults in our ward know my children and are concerned about them, but on the other hand many large wards provided an opportunity for a bigger, more diverse group of friends.  A few years ago we were tossing around the idea of moving or staying and remodeling.  We asked the kids what they thought, and it was unanimous.  They all wanted to stay.  They know what moving would mean to their perceived social status at school, and yet they were willing to sacrifice status "upgrade" in order to stay here. (I have to admit that we do have really great neighbors... one especially is like a third grandma)
  In thinking about social structures (and especially girls) you always run into the problem of Cliques.  Personally,  growing up I never lived long enough in one place, or perhaps really didn't have the desire to be included.  I had to learn that I was OK as a person, and that sometimes it was better to have few or no friends than to have bad friends.

I came across some interesting articles written by some authors about what girls and women are dealing with.

queen-bees-wannabes--how-technology-has-changed-teens-forever

Review of "Mean Girls Grow Up"

and another good article: Girls Cliques: What Role does your Daughter Play?

I guess if I could sum it all up I would have to say that these cliques are like out of control fires started by the desire for power and influence over others by using behavioral tactics and games to manipulate things.  They are fuled by jealousy, pride, greed, and  fear.  Power coming not from being a great person, but from knocking others to the ground and stepping on them to raise their perceived status.  People form cliques in order to feel superior to others... where exclusion and toxic relationships abound.  These types of "Leaders"  are not what I want for my children.

 There must be something that happens when you become a mother.  I remember taking my oldest in for her first set of shots as a baby.  The overwhelming feeling that came over me when the nurse administered the shots was hard to control.  Here this person was hurting MY BABY.  It took everything I had not to jump out of my chair and physically assult the nurse.  Yet, that is what nature has done.  Motherhood  turns us into protective snarling seething creatures when someone is hurting our children.  Perhaps not on the outside, but definatly on the inside.  Still, I find myself wondering when, as a parent, do I step in and intervene when group dynamics have affected the balance of  happiness of my children?  Thankfully, my children, for the most part have wonderful, great friends, but once in a while you run into someone that is just looking for trouble.  Grrrrrrr... snarl.

If you really wanted to simplify things you could just turn to the bible.... you know, thou shalt not covet....love thy neighbor as thyself....thou shalt not bear false witness (that means lying) ...oh and the whole do unto others thing.   Is the best advice always "Turn the other Cheek"?  Unfortunatly, not everyone plays by those rules, and at what point is there risk of just becoming a helpless victim?  What do you do when the problem gets ignored, but never goes away?  These are questions that I find myself asking.

I did find an article that was interesting and this quote is from the article regarding friendship:

Teaching children about Friends and Friendship


Elder Marion D. Hanks spoke of the importance of friendship:
“One of the most important choices any of us ever make in this life is our choice of companions with whom we shall share our time and lives … Companions can do wonderful things for us. If they are happy, generous, thoughtful, honest people, we will very likely be that way when we are with them. … If they habitually use clean and decent language we will likely talk that way, too.


“If our companions are prone to kind and noble thoughts, they will in all likelihood help us turn our thoughts in that direction also. If their habits are sound and sensible we will be influenced towards such habits. If they do things that are wholesome and constructive, we will likely go along.” (Church News, 30 January 1960, p. 3.)

I think the best thing I can do as a mother is to encourage all of the good friendships that my children have and help them realize that sometimes you have to throw away the bad apple in the bushel in order to be happy.

Color Obsessed

Yes, I am obsessed with color.  I think that I always have been.  Some of my earliest memories are in deep rich color.  I dream in color.  (Doesn't everyone?) I once heard that people dream in black and white, but I think that may be because there is a generation that grew up watching black and white on the small and big screen.  Some people say that dogs and cats can only see in black and white.  I don't believe it.  My cat will attack my legs whenever I wear my hot pink yoga pants, but never when I am wearing the yellow ones.

I was on the the Internet the other day and saw that I could download more Canon Picture Styles for my camera. Picture Styles is to digital what different film types used to be back in the days of film.  I used to shoot with Kodak Portra VC... ohhhh the good old days.  Sharp, vivid colors and beautiful skin tones.  Now there are many more styles than there once was film types.  The bad thing is that there are only 3 slots for user defined picture styles, and I wanted to try out all 30 that I got.  It took a while, but I had a willing subject for my scientific experiment.


Picture styles

 THEN I was on the Internet and I ran across a few more... Technicolor, cinema, and IR (Infrared)  The in fared one makes what is in focus faded, but still in color, and what is green it looks more like B&W.  I will have to mess around with this one a little more, but  here is what I came up with:

Broken Things

I am a photographer.....well sort of....ok I guess I really am, but I didn't start out as one.  It's mostly an out of control hobby that people pay me for.  Once in a while something goes horribly wrong.  A few months ago I was photographing a wedding in slush.  Literally it was raining and snowing at the same time.  REALLY HARD.  I tried to keep my camera under my coat when I wasn't shooting, but the lens got wet, and that is not a good thing.  It would stick alot after that and I knew that someday I would have to get a new one.  I was hoping that when the new Canon 5D markII is replaced, that I could snag a used one for a great deal, but Canon has put off introducing that camera until who knows when with all the problems in the world and the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.
  SO I am in town yesterday doing senior photos of a friend's son, when all of the sudden click and snap.  I knew that it was over for that lens.  A sad day too.  All that I had left was my old 70-300mm lens from my film days, so I looked like an idiot backing like 20 feet away from the guy to get the shots, because my camera isn't a full frame so 70mm is more like 100.

The biggest problem is that I have a ton more photos scheduled in the near future and needed to do something about getting a new lens ASAP.  I checked on KSL.com classifieds, but most people were selling lenses I didn't need, or the used prices weren't that much less than the new ones I could buy.

So I got up and went to the local camera store thinking that I would but the Tameron version of what I really wanted.  As luck (on Friday the 13th) would have it they were sold out of that one and I ended up having to buy the Canon one.  EF24-70mm F/2.8L.  $1,500 later I have a new lens.  I can't wait to go out and see how it works.  I've never had an "L" series lens before so this should be fun!